Book
Review: Too Good to Leave Too Bad to Stay
During
the
course of my fifteen years as a divorce attorney, as well as being
divorced myself, I can recommend this book as the best source for
anyone contemplating the breakup of a marriage. Although the book was
written over 12 years ago, it is still popular and available through
booksellers. Marriage and family therapist Mira Kirschenbaum does an
excellent job of pinpointing the myriad reasons behind the problems in
marriages. She provides tools to help the reader move beyond weighing
the pros and cons. The value in this book is that it does not push the
reader to stay in the marriage, nor does it attempt to steer the reader
toward divorce. The book also assists the reader in realistically
determining which issues can be fixed and which cannot, without a
judgmental attitude toward either spouse.
On a personal
level, this book was extremely valuable to me eleven years ago, as it
helped me assess the strengths of my marriage, as well as the
weaknesses of it. Using Kirschenbaum’s tools and case histories
allowed me to make an informed and intelligent decision to end my
marriage, while working toward a successful ‘post marriage’
relationship with my former husband. This has proved immensely
beneficial as we have both enjoyed co-parenting our 13 year old son
over the years, without the usual problems that divorced parents face
while trying to parent from two different households.
Choosing
to
end or stay in a marriage is usually one of the biggest decisions an
individual makes. Often times a potential client will come to see me
about the financial and legal aspects of an intended divorce, even
though they haven’t yet made the decision to divorce. A ‘reality
check’ for many people involves an understanding of the amount of
support they’re likely to pay or receive, an idea of how the assets
will be divided and a recommendation do read this book from cover to
cover.
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